Sirius's Kissing Theory
by KPtheMoviesaholic
Summary: Sirius sat up. “You know what, we could actually try something fun!”“What fun?” Remus questioned.“Ahh,” Sirius drawled, “You don’t know about this, do you? “My very own kissing theory…”Oneshot.


Kissing Theory: Sirius Style

**A/N: Ah, I know, I couldn't pull my hands off the computer, and here we are. Maybe some of you have even tried this technique.**

**Disclaimer: Marauders belong to the wonderful JK, the theory's my choir teacher's. Hahaha.**

It was summer, just after their OWLs, and the four friends were laying lazily on the grass, shaded by the tree beside the lake, summer heat pouring on them.

"It's OVER!" the raven haired, handsome but sly Sirius Black threw up his hands in the air once again, rejoicing the found freedom.

Studious, sandy-haired and shy Remus Lupin rolled his eyes. "Padfoot, it's like the fifth time you said that."

"It still sounds wonderful," James Potter remarked, one hand ruffling his messy black hair absentmindedly, thinking of a certain Miss Evans.

"Yeah, 'cause you guys did well," sighed Peter Pettigrew, the shortest boy of the group.

"Oh come on, Wormtail, couldn't be that bad," smiled the caring Remus at his friend.

Sirius sat up. "Enough with the boring talk, Moony," he pretended to yawn, James laughing. "You know what, we could actually try something fun!"

"What fun?" Remus questioned.

"Ahh," Sirius drawled, "You don't know about this, do you?" he leaned closer to them, eyes full of mischief. "My very own kissing theory…"

Sirius's proud sentence was followed by a snort from Remus, who muttered, "Yeah right. Works every time, he'd say," and the awing look from James.

"Really?"

Hearing his best mate ask, Sirius crossed his hands over his chest and said in his best matter-of-fact tone, "Of course, my marauders. You know how I am with girls. Kisses are one of the important factors in a relationship, man."

"What do you know about relationships?" retorted Remus.

Sirius ignored him, continuing, "And it's good to know. Now, let's start. Sit up, everybody. Up, up, up!" the boy motioned all his friends.

"Uh hm, very good. Make a 'Brr' sound with your mouth, try," he started off first, his mouth vibrating perfectly. "See? This means it's relaxed, and, indeed, soft, ready for a kiss. "

Remus still shaking his head, James tried, and to his surprise, his mouth did the same as Sirius's. "I always knew you have potential," Sirius patted his back, grinning.

The bad news was, now that they had mastered the technique, the duo turned to Remus, who, more or less, had seen it coming.

"Try, Moony, why not?" Sirius pouted, pleading.

Remus almost laughed. "Oh Pads, just don't try that with me. You don't know how funny it is. And I'm not a girl, just so you know."

James chuckled. "Ha ha ha, but would you, Mooonn—for us?" He looked up hopefully too.

"Please Prongs, not you too!" Remus put his hands up, blocking his face. "I don't think this will really be…useful."

"Who knows," Sirius stared at his reluctant pal, "Someday you might find a girl."

"It's not now," whined Remus, knowing he had to give up soon. On seeing the looks on his friends' faces, he sighed, "Fine, just once, and don't ask me to do it again. I'm not…your type, if you know what I mean." Sirius sniggered at the mention of 'his type'.

Remus tried to vibrate his mouth, but it didn't move, only some wind came out. Sirius sighed, "See what I mean, Moony? You're tense, now. Your lips are completely…uh…tight."

"Doesn't matter to me," Remus stopped trying, James shaking his head, "It's like kissing a piece of wood. Girls will run away."

"Kisses aren't the only thing that determines true love, guys," said Remus, deep in thoughts.

"Wow," marveled Peter, "That's like, really deep, Moony. Ooh, now let me try!" Peter blew wind through his lips as well, only…

"I said make your mouth vibrate with a brr sound," Sirius chuckled, looking at Peter, "But not sending spits all over, Wormtail."

"EW!" The rest of the Marauders pulled back in disgust.

Peter managed a weak smile.

"Remember," Sirius said, finishing up his lecture, James now listening intently, Remus half-listening, and Peter too excited to do anything else, "Vary the intensity between kisses. Don't gobble up your girl," they shared a laugh.

"And do practice often," he added with a bow, his friends clapping.

* * *

"James, why are you doing that again?" asked Lily, annoyed.

James stopped vibrating his mouth suddenly, looking obviously guilty.

"Wha…Oh, nothing, Lil."

**A/N: Just a one-shot I thought up during a choir class.**

**I'd love to hear what you think!**

**Thanks to all readers, reviewers, and everyone!**

**Your ever humble fanfic writer :)**

**PS. Be on the look out for more Marauders Fun, coming soon. **


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